Messy truth – living my life as a full-time Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM), working on my personal journey of healing and wellness as I live with complex PTSD, committing about 5 hours to work as a Weight Watchers service provider each week, AND building a business… has me more than a little strapped for time…it has me starting a blog post with a ginormous run-on sentence with a whole bunch of …’s … And you know what? – I’m proud.
I’m proud that I am embracing the Nike slogan – and just doing it.
Every day I that I work to live a vibrant life of wellness, I must shift my perfectionist/all-or-nothing mindset into one of grace and acceptance. And thank goodness I realized I have! Without the shift- my life would look a lot different and these words that are appearing for you to read, would never be published or even written.
It helps that recently I accepted that I am, alas – human. Therefore, I am made to be imperfect. And with that, I’m shifting into embracing mistakes rather than running from them.
I actually need mistakes (or more so the reflection and correction after the act of the mistake) as an integral part of my learning. Not that I’m seeking out mistakes, but I sure am looking to learn – and with that, learn from my mistakes by embracing them.
As I embrace mistakes as learning opportunities, I feel an energy shift. I shift from a place of feeling ‘stuck’ into a place of ‘flow’.
For example, I continuously experience what some call – writer’s block. I seem to always be thinking of topics and what to write, but I also seem to always get stuck in the actual writing.
First my ego gets involved by reminding me that I am not a writer, or at least that’s the story which I have allowed myself to hear…
As a math teacher and instructional coach for 13 years, I defined myself as a ‘math person’ and told myself the story that ‘math people aren’t good writers’. When I notice that thought, then take a breath – I begin to notice something else.
I forgot the part of the story that includes me advancing my education to earn a Master’s and Specialist’s degree which required an extensive amount of academic writing. So maybe I am a writer…
Just as I start to feel a little sparkle of hope – That pesky ego inserts itself again.
This time by reminding me that I am a failure. I built a website and started blogging in September with a goal of weekly posts- and…I failed. In fact, since that time, I have set multiple goals for building the content on my blog as well as the services of my business – and nearly every single one can be labeled a ‘failure’.
I notice those thoughts, take a breath – and then notice something else.
I may have failed at meeting individual deadlines for individual goals – but I am not a failure.
For the first time I am okay with not meeting goals, but I’m not okay with not continuing to set them.
No matter the outcome of the goals I set, I am committing to transforming energy.
Energy can not be created nor destroyed, but it can be transformed. So I am transforming anxiety and stress into grace and acceptance – and with it, I am writing this post as well as am committing to a theme for the month of April – PROCESS.
Process is defined as a series of actions or steps to reach a specific result. This focus is two-fold for me. I will first focus on engaging in my personal process to reach my goal of living the most vibrant life possible. This process includes work on healing and energy transformation, and the second part of my focus is to work to share my process in a way that others understand.
Though sometimes it is hard to see the forest when you are standing in the trees, but I will do my best. And my best is good enough, because just like the Nike slogan goes – just do it. And I will.